Dificultades

I'm afraid I'm letting this negativity seep into my posture, my way of being, my speech patterns, everything.

It has a lot to do with the fact that it's cold here, my right lung hurts constantly, I can't STOP thinking about money (even though it's just stupid fucking paper) and I am reminded time and time again that I'm not the charming social butterfly I was once thought to be.

I sound like a broken record but I'm really grateful to the people who put up with that. It'll pass, I hope. I literally reach the same conclusion every time: I have to find a job. or take out a loan. or somehow win the lottery or something. The way that it's going right now, I won't make it to India...which means temporary failure/restrategizing.

But in spite of all these difficulties, I'm still here.