3 signs of a Miserable Job

1. Anonymity
2. Irrelevance
3. Immeasurement

Sounds awfully familar. When I go to work, I feel like what I'm doing isn't important and that I could be just another face. Some clients don't even know or care about my name...
BLEH. This is probably just a tag on the horrid feeling I was having yesterday. I don't know exactly what's going on as far as that. It's too early to tell whether or not the malaise that I feel is associated with body chemistry, general moodiness or the fact that I woke up at 4 fuckin am. I am SO not the right person for this job. I have no sense of direction, I forget things easily, I'm seldom on time for anything that I don't care about, I hate being cold and corporate America disgusts me. Why did I take this job? Oh yeah, because of the great unequalizer: $$$$
So bad that it doesn't even need to be named in this post. Whatever. Gods above, I am exhausted. And the sun isn't even out yet.

That time of the month?

I'm a firm believer in the fact that men have hormonal fluctuations as well as women. I'm not sure what the fuck is going on but something has to explain the shitty mood at which I've arrived. It all happened after my Trumpet lesson. I was practicing a couple of the techniques that my teacher was trying to teach me, and all of a sudden I was overcome with the huge urge to give up, dash my trumpet on a rock and curl into a ball and never get up. Obviously, not normal feelings. I feel moody and ineffective and altogether unacceptable. It was an instant, horrible wave of bloated discontent. Everything I'm doing isn't good enough. Blah, blah blah....
Now, flash forward to a few minutes ago. I went to my (loathed) history class and my friend was talking about how her boyfriend dumped her and her bag was stolen in Stockton and how she can't sleep. It gave me some perspective. Sometimes, things just aren't that bad. It still doesn't change the fact that I feel inexplicably wretched. Oh well, hopefully this week will turn out somewhat better than I thought it was going to. If only.....I don't know. Nothing is really terribly wrong. There's just this subtle undertone of....


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Inundated with Parental Care

So, i really like that phrase. As a title for this blog especially. This morning I went to a light breakfast and grocery shopping with my Step-mom and Sister. They bought my groceries and took me out. I got really homesick after they left....But, anyways it was really nice to see them and go grocery shopping. Yay for food! Speaking of which, I also got to eat horribly this weekend. Started off with lots and lots of cookies from hanging out with my Anarchist Viola-major friend. Then today, I went to the SFGMC brunch which had pounds and pounds of free stuff. And you know what I always say: food tastes better when it's free. It was really fun getting to meet all the newbies even though I had to tell all of them that I'm not going to the Retreat next weekend. It does sound like fun, though. So anyways, after that I then went to school and practiced and did all that jazz. Studied a little for my Counterpoint test tomorrow. And now I'm at home, writing a dramatistic analysis on a performance I have to give tomorrow. Whoo for Communications! It's actually not that bad. I'm almost done and today was a wonderful day. Oh, and I saved the best for last: My mama sent me food and money and a really artistic Valentine's day card. It was heartwarmingly awesome. I have enough money to sustain my existence for the next month. Victory is mine! For the time being.

Laundry

So, here I am. In one of the best cities in the world. Glamorous San Francisco. Doing my laundry at an expensive-ass laundromat because my fucking dryer is STILL broken (apparently a "technician" is coming today or tomorrow) and I've run plum out of undies. I feel chic. The atmosphere in the place is very unconducive to doing counterpoint homework, which is what I came here to do. At least there is some poor, defenseless wireless network that I can hi-jack so as to avoid doing something actually productive. Oh well, I think I'm going to finish eating this bag of caramel rice cakes and then go and get my ear phones so that I can work on my Ear training homework. The only good thing about this laundromat is that it is literally a block from my apartment. Too bad it's up yet another hill. Oh well, It's over before you know it. Unlike certain other hills I could mention. I've noticed that the only time I'm ever bored is on the weekends. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Today was the first time in a long while that I ate for no reason. I fear I should stop this lest I regress into a previous, unhealthy state. Damn these rice cakes are good. Okay. Enough mindless blather. Now I go to get the ear phones!

Touring

I just got home from an excursion with an old acquaintance from high school. Unexpectedly, he and his girlfriend decided to come to San Francisco. I obliged them in playing tour guide and off we went for an excursion into the city by the bay. Wonderful Boba, Mac world, shitty Sushi and reminiscing about high school abounded. It was actually quite fun and I got to work on my tourism skills. Even though I still have no clean clothes to wear next week. I should probably learn to prioritize...
Anyways, tomorrow is the Big Brother/Little Brother brunch for SFGMC. I'm looking forward to that even if it means I have to wake up at 10. Oh, horrors. I think I might be able to manage. Just maybe. Well, this post is quite short. I haven't been keeping up with my journal either. I used to be such a diligent writer. I guess this is a new lazier phase in my life. At least in that aspect. Actually, probably only in that aspect. I've been trying and succeeding (I think) to be a little more productive as of late. Still, I'd like the success to be a little more all inclusive. I'd like to be successful musically,financially, academically, romantically, socially and spiritually. In that order. Please.

I &heart weekends

I'm kind of in love with Saturday and Sunday. I have so many things to do. But, it's alright. I want to do most of them. I have to do

1. Scott's Homework
2. Counterpoint homework
3. Buy a Notebook, Binder, a cooking pot and a Microwave
4. Clean my room
5. Get a library card
6. Practice (a LOT)
7. Write my grocery list
8. Go grocery shopping
9. Get rid of some of my crap
10. Ear training homework
11. Work out
12. Call Mom and Dad
13. Get the stupid gray electronic thing off my shirt
14. buy books
15. find a short story to perform
16. start dramatistic analysis

And that's it. I'll be kind of glad when it's over. But, i can't wait to start. Tomorrow. At Noon. After I wake up.

$695?

For this? I'm not sure if I'm entirely okay with it but, it definitely beats being homeless. I definitely have a kitchen and I even have my own room. It just dawned on me that this is honestly the first time in a very long time that I have unequivocally been the only person living in my room 24/7. I'm kind of proud of that. I'm also proud of the fact that my family (as unconventional as we are) rose to the occasion and helped me out when I was in dire need. Of course, that is how we roll. My Mom and Nana are there for me when I need them. I would have been royally screwed had I not had them. As it stands now, I still know better than to fly by the seat of my pants next time. It was fun and I'm pretty sure it worked out but, the stress is entirely not worth it. Now even though it's only 7 o clock, I am going to crash. What shall I do tomorrow? Probably figure out everything and then come back to my newly earned living space.