Summer, already?!

Apparently, I'm behind. I've been frantically trying to learn excerpts, find a recording space, borrow a piccolo trumpet, and coordinate applications all for the opportunity to attend a summer program where I will gain valuable, marketable musicality. That's exciting and I want to do it. However, I don't think I'm as prepared as I probably should be. I mean, Music Academy of the West is really competitive. But, then I suppose they all are. I'm also applying to Aspen Music Festival, Brass at Menlo, Atlantic Brass Seminar and the Bar Harbor Brass week. Thankfully the last three applications aren't due for a little while. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of waiting for Aspen or MAOW. So, that's what I'm doing today. Tracking the loose ends, making things happen. I want this and I'm going to get it. 

These last 52 weeks

Were, to be completely honest, very difficult for me. 

Here's to hoping that 2010 is ridden with ease and grace and fun. I like those things.

I'm going to say that this year made me stronger and ultimately more capable. But, it wasn't without a struggle. Or not so much a struggle as a bitter ass-kicking. Anyways, I don't have much to say about 2009 other than that it was hard and a lot of things happened. I mean, it was a whole year. Incidentally there were 3 Friday the 13ths in it. That, I think, counts for something. I look at my list of goals that I set out to accomplish and find that not all of them have lines through them. Oh well, there's still 6 hours left. Who knows? 

Peace to everyone

: ]

And....Stop.

I have all of this free time now. My last final was yesterday and after I took it I found out that all I needed to pass class was basically to write my name on a blue book and hand it in. I've been pseudo-breaking up until this point because of that one looming obligation but now I can reeeeelax. in full. I went out on Thursday (gasp!) I slept in almost every day this week (shock and awe!) and generally find life pleasant, currently (Aieeee!)

It's true.  

Hello, Depression

I've been expecting you. 

There's a reason they call this dead week, folks. My life HUUURRRTTTSSSS right now. Wah, wah, wah. Whine, grovel, moannnnn. I hate everything. Even puppies. 

So, yeah. that's that. Just spent hours studying for a test on which I'm going to do poorly. Not doing assignments that are due. I don't think I can handle this but that's okay. Everything is going to be fine. I'm going to pass all of my classes. And even if I don't, that's okay. 

Shhhh, inner voice, Shhhh

I'm alright. Or not, but I will be. 

Did I have fun?

Yep.

Will I have fun?

Yep.

Am I having fun now? Well.....that's going to be a resounding NOPE.

School is almost over. I've essentially given up at everything. I doubt I'm going to retain my job, I'm not going to get an A in that unreasonable history class. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that winter break will be eventful. And mostly eventful in a good way, hopefully. 

So, that's about it as of now. I'm thinking of maybe considering the possibility of contemplating quitting school. It's that bad lately. No motivation and stuff. Oh well.

Oh, and I have a mohawk now. win? 

Toga Times Three

Tonight was the third night I've worn a toga. Wow. I'm really glad I just typed that sentence. Also, I went to safeway after (and during) said instance of toga wearing to buy the most magnifcent of all drinks: Eggnog. That is right. And I imbibed the Eggnog on public transportation in the thrice worn toga and it was glorious. These are reasons why my life is still worth living. Just checking. I need hugs. Hugs from boys, hugs from girls. Hugs from family and friends. Also cookies. Goodness, I'm tired. 

Not feelin' it

So, i think this post is different than my usual whiney rant. Or maybe not but, whatever. Nothing is wrong. It was my birthday on wednesday. I'm no longer a teenage dirtbag, baby. I'm doing okay in my classes, I think. I haven't been fired yet. That's pretty much where I'm at. I'm pretty sure I'm just not getting out of bed. Maybe not going to school for a few days will make me feel better. Oh, who am I kidding? I know I'll just drudge, drudge, drudge until December 20th. Oh well, only 44 for more days. And even less than that because of Thanksgiving break and furlough days. Yay