Frriieennddsss

You know what? I want friends. Really real authentic, German friends. Thus far I've made some acquaintances with americans, made a couple of nods to the other Austauschstudenten and met my roommate but I think tomorrow I shall actually go to class and go out of my way to strike up a conversation. IN GERMAN.

it's funny how much this whole language thing back home can inhibit your personality. I find myself struggling to express myself, something that came so easily before. Oh well practice, practice, practice.

Speaking of practice, I'm still doing that. For some reason, there's a church in my dorm and the acoustic is pretty good. Also, I'm getting better at singing which is cool. Tomorrow begins the next week of classes, to which I'm looking forward. I have a meeting with a pretty important university guy tomorrow. Yes. Good things.

But most of all, friends. I spent Saturday night at home by myself. What up wit dat?

Stuff to work on

For some reason I felt the need to post one of those "Uplifting and happy" blogs that I sometimes do. I feel.....strange. Today I had a really good day, I went to the a Flohmarkt and got a pencil holder for 50 cents and then I went to the castle, and had delicious thai food. All in all, great. Then why do I feel less than spectacular? Just a little...blah. I dunno. Oh well, I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to look forward to. So that's that. I was stumbling on the interwebs and came across the phrase

"your outlook on life is directly related to how much you like yourself"

I like myself pretty much. There's always a couple of things that I could work on but overall, I would say I'm an okay guy. Generally. Right? Then I guess it makes sense that everything isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows and unicorn farts and giggles. But pretty much okay. With stuff to work on...

Produktiv

So lately I haven't been doing everything that I want to...but I've been doing at least one or two of the plethora of things that I want to work on each day. So, that's good. That list includes

Studying German

Working out

Working on my Scholarship letters

Tidying up my room

Stretching/yoga

Practicing Trumpet/Choir Music

Every day I'm a little bit better than the day before, though. If only I could manage to do a little bit of ALL of those things every day. That's the next step, I guess.

I'm here

I'm poor, black, I may even be ugly; but dear God, I'm Here! I'm Here!

And that's my name. Less than a month and I'm already getting paid to sing in churches. Sweeeeet. Leading sectionals, being in choirs, Orchestra audition in a couple of weeks. Music is still alive, everyone.

I hit the ground running, it would seem. It might have something to do with the constant gnawing away at my belly (whatamigonnadowhatamigonnadowhatamigonnado)

but I guess fear is as good a motivator as any. I'm looking for opportunities.

1.5

So, the german grading system is funky. it is as follows

• 1 (sehr gut, very good) is the best possible grade and is given for outstanding performance
• 2 (gut, good) is the next-highest and is given for performance that meets the standard completely and is above-average
• 3 (befriedigend, satisfactory) indicates "average" performance.
• 4 (ausreichend, sufficient) is the lowest passing grade and is given if the standard has been met but with a number of notable errors.
• 5 (mangelhaft, deficient) is the higher of two failing grades and is given if the standard has not been met but the basics have been understood.
• 6 (ungenügend, insufficient) is the lowest possible grade and is given if the standard has not been met and the basics have not been understood

It basically means that 1 is better than an A and 2 is kind of a B+ ish...and I got a 1.5 in my german course. That means I get to take the next level and I get an A on my transcript. BOOYA. Also, I've been singing in one of the large choirs and the director seems to have taken a liking to me. He invited me to sing in the chamber choir, a 6 piece group and apparently I'm going to be a Bass section leader? He kinda just surprised me with that last bit but, I've been (super healthily) craving the positive regard of others. Oh well, it's nice when it comes. It's nice when I think that I'm good at something and other people do, too.

Trouble in Paradise

So...I fear that I'm leaving the honeymoon stage. It was bound to happen some time...People are beginning to upset me. My American acquaintances seem to be under the impression that it's okay to hang out all day, err' day and speak nothing but English. If I wanted to make friends in California, I would have stayed in California. And then, when I decide to let my guard down and actually try to cultivate a friendship, it's met with "eh..."

Story of my life.

not so much into the vulnerability thing right now. It's most upsetting to me that in my interactions with seemingly everyone right now, there has to be some sort of front, guard, Grenze....stupid.

I'm in Germany

Yes. That is currently happening. I live in Europe. I'm going to school in Europe. I buy my groceries in Europe. Everything I do right now is in Europe. Because that's where I am. As in, not the country where I was born, spent 21 years of my life, went to high school and such....yeah.

It's weird.

I knew I would adapt to it fine. Everything is going smoothly, except the one thing that I had problems with: GERMAN. as in the language. The one that I can kind of speak. only kind of. After wounding my pride by taking an entrance exam, it was discovered that I am in the "Mittelstufe" or intermediate group. According to the Common European Framework of References for Langauges

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_European_Framework_of_Reference_for_Languages

I am of B1 proficiency. Which is all well and good to be understood at parties and in bars and such when you're speaking to friendly German people who are willing to overlook forgetting the genders of nouns and not declining your adjectives properly....but it's completely another thing when your strict German teacher expects you to remember to ALWAYS put the verb in the right place. buhhhhhh it's hard. And my goal is to be C1 by the end of the year...I have literally hundreds of hours of studying to do.

So, that's that. I'm taking a preparatory language course. Real school starts in October, I joined a choir (^^) and everything is expensive. Hopefully the Euro gets weaker or I find a job or something. It would be nice to get to travel and such....There's a low boil anxiety of "whatamigonnadowhatamigonnadowhatamigonnado" after this year but whatevs. I've been combating that by obsessive compulsively making lists and eating many, many pastries. Such is life.