This just in:

So I've been asking questions (MASSIVE ACTION) about what I can do to stay here and make it work. This is the response that I got from the nice and helpful program coordinator of my future department:

The programme is designed according to the “Bologna-Treaty” of the European Union. According to the scheme, one credit point equals 30 hours of work load. On average, 30 credit points are to be made during one semester, which is 900 hours of work load. If you place that on a regular weekly schedule, you almost arrive at regular working hours. It is thus difficult to work on the side, at least if it is more than 8-10 hours per week.

To which I cautiously say:

Challenge Accepted.

March Forth!

This will be my battle cry.

Plan of ATTACK

Okay.

So, i've decided to take this utterly devastating news that I'm not going to be recipient of the DAAD not as an affront to my character (because I KNOW I'm smart and well qualified enough to study in Germany) but as a sign that means I'm going to have to do what I always do and just....win.

That's right.

I'm going to:

talk to my employer to see if I can get a work visa starting August to stay in Germany and apply for grad school next year.

See if it's possible to work and go to school at the same time (In this context. I know it's possible because, duh, I've been doing it since I was 17)

email the CSU/IP coordinators here to see if they have any help for me

Reach out to people I know to see if they have any information.

Look into teaching English in Spain.


MASSIVE ACTION.

The last time this happened I got angry, got determined and now I'm studying in Germany. Guess what? I'm not going to let it get me down. Not ever. Nothing anyone says (even me) can make me stop trying to achieve my goals.

Vlogvlogvlog

Have you?

Have you thought about the difference between "having fun" and "experiencing happiness"?

This question, from an interesting source, made me think about what I'm doing in my life and how i'm currently working hard to better myself. While it's not necessarily "fun" all the time, I really do think that I'm experiencing happiness. Or at least in some way self-actualizing. The two are strangely interlinked in my brain.

I'm getting a healthier tone in my trumpet sound. I wrote a response to a German article that only had 3 major mistakes. I can confidently write the first half of the Arabic alphabet. I can conjugate in the subjunctive mood in Spanish. I've worked out every other day for almost a month.

These things make me happy.

Paris : ]

My days

Today was the first time in a while I felt that inexplicable "not okay" feeling. I noticed, however, that it was uncomfortable because of this fact. It definitely has been a loooong time. Mostly, I feel good.

I went to Paris with the Wife and had an AMAZING time. Went to the Louvre, Versailles, Champs Elysees....super good. Ever since I got back, I've been really productive. Studying Spanish (for a test on April 13th), German (for a test March 26th) and Arabic (for funsies)...working out. Practicing trumpet (I guess that's still a thing)

All in all good. And even the bad was good. It made me grateful that the ups are more frequent lately : ]