Walking around

Heidelberg...

I had planned to go running but am somehow not in the mood. Oh well, I'll get some exercise later this week, I guess.

Trying to learn Arabic a bit more intensely....Spanish is going okay and German is....there, I suppose. Also, applying for grad school (again...ugh)

Current residence permit situation: Have an appointment on the 19th of October to extend my stay in Germany. Have an acceptance letter from the University good for 6 months, a letter from my current English teaching job saying I have classes that won't end AND a letter from my future boss, saying that I am guaranteed work for the year. I should be fine but one never knows. It all depends on how the woman behind the desk with all that power is feeling that day.

It's getting colder! Hopefully autumn and winter aren't as bad this year

Hey! I'm back. So...i dont like this new format of blogger. everything is so....new. But I guess that's a good metaphor for how my life is going. New school year (kinda) new jobs, new apartment, new challenges. hoo boy, those challenges. But, I'll win. I always do.

I once was lost

Not entirely sure if I'm found yet. Was blind but I'm still kinda haaaazzzyyyyyyyy..................... Been having interesting adventures lately. Going to parties and whatnot. I like meeting people and having good conversations, it's true. .......................The battle to stay in Germany is like a roller coaster. Sometimes I'm sure I can do it. Other times, I get emails from people that throw wrenches into the plans, only to be somewhat resolved after a little back-and-forth. I have 5 Students now so, i'm hoping money shouldn't be the issue. Although, plane tickets are expensive. Gah!...................I can do 50 consecutive push-ups. Something I never thought I'd be able to do.............I'm not really liking the new blogger thing...you used to be able to hit enter and have spaces in your text, which fit my random thought/writing process well. UGH, speaking of First world problems, I'm getting a kindle...That's exciting.............Life continues. Working towards what I want, I'm pretty sure.

Was it a good night?

I'm not sure if it was a good night because I want it to be or...because I want it to be, it becomes a good night. Whatever, I'm not complaining. Last night I went to Walpurgisnacht, a night party that takes place in this amphitheater at the top of one of the mountains around Heidelberg. It was nice, I saw people and danced a bit. Mostly managed to avoid making dodgey decisions and further solidified that I am better than being one of many options for someone I would gladly make a priority. Hung out with a fellow teacher of English and ended up walking home with a random constellation of people: Friends from California, Germans, English person and me. I'm into it.

Good times

After some parties with friends (including some questionable times that I will describe in slightly more detail) and a comfy, cozy sunday. I can say this: I'm good. I went for a run today for the first time in a while. It feels good to be healthy. Also had a fairly okay rehearsal with the organ guy. Good to be working on that too. Okay, now the questionable stuff. Although, it's not so much questionable as it was good to realize some things. Most important: I am super, super, very much waaaaaaaay worth more than being the one on the side. Jungs! Reißt euch zusammen. It's cute that you want to figure yourself out or whatever. I'm flattered that you find me attractive, even if your girlfriend is in the vicinity. But I am, simply put, so much better than that. Been there, done that whole high-school game. I deserve better. It begs the question though: am I not being specific enough with my inquiries to the Universe? I'm getting kind of almost exactly what I'm asking for. Almost. Going to work on that request, like so many other things in my life. Working in a better direction. Listen Here, Powers that Be!

Reminiscing forward

Have been reading my blog/diary...just generally looking at the ripples I've put into this big pond. I have had a pretty good life. Beautiful friends, good family memories. Worked through hard things (still doing that) and have reached a fairly good place.

This new positive/negative dialectic in my life is really applicable in this place, too. I look back and think about all the mostly good things and think about how I am really looking forward to making more of those memories in the future.

It's unbelievable how far I've come and how different my life is from 7 or 8 months ago...so much change!

Speaking of which, I applied for two jobs today. This is also the last week before school starts up again. So ready for it : )

Something good is going to happen. I can feel it!

Is/Isn't

Just got back from Amsterdam...it was a well needed pause in my current lifestyle of "gogogogo studystudy do everything ever".

My experiences there were pretty life changing. Good food (Indisches Voedsel, Fries with patay sauce YUMMM), good friends...it was very cold.

One of the many things I learned on this trip was that things hold the potential to be both positive and negative. Everything that exists, simply is. And it's up to me to interpret what's going on. Everything is good/bad and worthy/unworthy. Always too much but never enough.

I have realized it's possible to take get enjoyment (or at least something!) out of every experience.

I feel like this was a very big step for me. I'm excited to see what will happen.