strange people

“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there you read this and know that, yes, it’s true, I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.”

--Frida Kahlo

I love this. To my strange counterparts: I love you.


At a strange point in my life. We are beyond the halfway point in my studies...which I am temporarily too exhausted to put more effort in than the minimum amount.

I'm also strange romantically, I guess. I keep thinking about this logically...and then realizing I am not a logical person. Or just my logic doesn't look like a lot of peoples' logic, I guess. I suppose if things were easy, everyone would be happy and in relationships and nobody would fight. Which is not the case. All I'm saying is: my standards are not super high. Someone interesting who wants to hang out with me enough to make effort is pretty much it. That doesn't seem like much to ask, right?


Oh well. Stranger things have happened. Ordinary things happen too, though.

Everything I need

I really do have it all. I have a job and am self-actualizing like crazy. I have wonderful friends and a very full schedule that keeps me busy. I have a place to live, clothes, enough money to live for right now. I'm satisfied for the most part. Really, I am.

I was just thinking how nice it would be to share all of that with someone. Someone who is willing to spend time with me. Not even really a relationship because lord knows I am not emotionally/geographically/temporally stable for that. I'm just saying I'm in a good place...it'd be nice to get found.

Oh well. The only thing I can do is continue to live my awesome life and whatever happens, happens. There are definitely many other positive things to prioritize.

you're wrong

One thing that I'm glad that I get out of all of this is the feeling that no matter what...I am worth it.

If you try and tell me, either explicitly or implicitly, that I'm not good enough or smart enough or attractive  enough; you're wrong.

Classes are going great. Everything is really good. First bit of unpleasantness in the form of a dude but, it can't be avoided, I guess. Or rather, it shouldn't be avoided because it comes with the territory.

I'm also looking into possible funding options. Maybe scholarships or such things offered by the university. I was kind of against the whole issue because, while I'm mostly sure that I deserve to be here, I don't need a scholarship committee who doesn't know me at all to disagree and shake all the great progress I've been making.

still in a super good place!

BerlinBerlin

I live in an amazing, magical city. 

Everything went more or less okay. I spoke with my boss and my landlord (who have yet to transfer money into my account..hmm...), carried all of my HEAVY stuff across the country and have been enjoying the aforementioned magic. I still feel a bit like a visiting tourist because I've been eating and hanging out with friends from all over the place: James, Beryl, Noa, Mischa, Ben, Robyn, Sarah....yeah.

Tomorrow will be the first day I go to my internship, which will be pretty exciting. I have to provide all of the bureacratic bs like social insurance and go to the finance office and blahblahblahGermanyblah. 

Tuesday is my orientation. I'm looking forward to finally getting some concrete information about what I will be doing in terms of studying. Also to meet the other GSP students. 

My main worry at the moment is finding an apartment. I've sent out approximately 150 emails, received 9 invitations, been to about 5 viewings and have liked all of them but didn't end up getting picked by the roommates. I will be living in my awesome and generous friend's house for the month of April so, that shouldn't be a problem. It would still be nice to have my own semi-permanent place of residence secured. Oh well, it'll happen sooner or later. 

All that aside, I'm really happy to be here :)

Letzte Woche

I have 5 days left in this city. In that time I will need to take care of the following:

Monday through Thursday Intensive English course with sullen teenagers (Four hours a day! Whooo!)

Normal classes that take place after 1pm (all three of them...in Mannheim/Walldorf)

Packing (ugh)

Cleaning (ugh)

Talking to the male authority figures in my life (soon-to-be former Landlord and Boss..back to back)

See people that I would like to see

Work out one last time

Catch the rideshare at 6:15pm on Friday evening

Shouldn't be difficult...or it should, rather, but I can handle it. In other news, I went to Berlin last weekend to interview for a (paid!) internship which I ended up getting. It starts on the 8th of April so, I'll have a bit of a break before going back to that "go get 'em" attitude I've been having as of late. Pretty excited for this part of  my life to transition to the next.

Strong and fit

words from a strong supportive force in my life.

I'm mildly (read. INTENSELY) freaking out about the money and time situation with this whole Master's degree thing. I'm hoping that I don't have to, sometime between Argentina, India or sometime thereafter, call my mom up and ask if I can live with her while I figure out the broken shambles of my academic career.

That wouldn't be very much fun.

Imma have to get hustlin'...'tis the only way. It's okay, though. I'm a hustla baby.

I have three weeks left to go in Heidelberg. Am trying to keep my head above water, not spend too much money, work out while I still have some stability in my life and stay calm before the whirlwind that will be Berlin.

Tying up loose ends

I'll be leaving soon. Basically three and a half weeks....scary to think about all the work that has to be done between now and then.

I'm applying for a paid internship that I can possibly do while going to school in Berlin. My goal is to hit the ground running as soon as I get to Berlin. I know that, if given time, I could run the place. 4 Months isnt exactly the time frame I had to get established in a new city the last time but, I think I can manage. It's all just an exercise in my survival skills, I suppose.

Trying (and briefly failing) to get back into studying Spanish. Voy a ir a Argentina y por eso tengo que practicar...and I also still feel like my German isn't exactly where I'd like it to be. Not to mention my (basically non-existant) Arabic. One day!

My real issue is that I don't even know where to begin. I first have to find that wild horse before I can get back on again....verbs and tenses and grammar and THINGS. What sort of advice would I give myself as a language teacher? Start small again, find weaknesses and work on them. Listen to podcasts. But I'm sooo laaaaazyyyyy hahaha. I know this feeling well from both sides.