It's quite enjoyable to sit down and hammer out a list. I feel that it gives me a sense of order and neatly contains insurmountable tasks in tiny bullet points. I also learn things about myself. In writing out "Qualities that in a potential Lover" I've realized the only thing that is non-negotiable is that he must like me more than I like him. Hm. I didn't know I was so easy to please.
The List of "Things I want to tell people" was particularly enlightening. I want to tell the A.P.g. companion that I'm sorry, I forgive him and to ask him why okay? *sigh* I'll stick to my path but, I'd still like to know. I want to tell the Roommate that she's greedy and selfish and inconsiderate and I'm moving out after January. One of the things that suprised me the most was that I want to tell myself to stop being such a whore and to FOCUS. Hmm. Interesting
Oh, the listing. It goes on and on. From the empowering "Reasons why I'm a valid human being" to the self-deprecating "Reasons why I'm still single". I've learned a lot from those, too. Mainly that I'm not as conceited as I thought I was but, I still have a long way to go to be modest. And that the reasons I see aren't the reasons that are readily accessible to the general public. One thing: I wish I was more aware of what my heart looks like when I wear it on my sleeve. It could be small and black and shaped funny. It could be covered with thorns and fire. It could have grown three sizes that day. I just don't know. Hm. Again.
I'm sitting here in a cafe that I discovered last weekend eating a rather delicious cookie. My Rooommate decided to cook meat in our very poorly ventilated apartment (again, no consideration. Whatsoever) So, I decided to leave and experience a little city life. Tomorrow will be the Long Lost Twin's birthday party. It's Dress-up and I have the perfect hound's-tooth jacket for the occasion. I'm also debating on whether or not I want to attend the Buddhist meeting. Ah, so much interesting activity going on in The City by the Bay.
I go home in 5 days!
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2 comments:
Hound's Tooth, aye?
You are shall we say
"sowing your wild oats"
and all that....Whore is a
not nice word to use in
describing oneself,
unless of course you're a
triple whore and have Earned the right.
:0]
Your heart would look like as Big as a Whale only vibrantly
COLORED
and pulsating to the strains of "I've Got to
Pump
and
Live
and
Love"
sincerely,
Yo Mama
Hey Gian
It sounds like your roommate and my roommate should meet, they would have a ball and then trash both of our respective rooms.
I am sorry that things aren't always quite picture perfect.
I cant wait to see you over the break: Sound of Music on Friday! Also, out of curiousity, we are having two thanksgivings, would you like to come to the friday one?
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