Autopilot

I'd like to not live this life. Sure, my body can keep going and do whatever it wants but my mind is elsewhere. This week is difficult. I know it's probably a phase that i'm going through so, I think my best bet is to continue on as if nothing is wrong in the hopes that I won't do (or not do, actually) something that I regret. If I gave up practicing now and still somehow decided to go to the Summer Brass Institute, that would be a bad idea. If I stopped exercising and ate cookies all day, that would be a bad idea. If I didn't speak to anyone at all this week and next week wanted to hang out, that would be a bad idea. As appealing as all of those things sound right now, i'm not entirely sure it's what I want to do. Then again, who's to say what I want? Certainly not me. The only thing I do know that I want right now is to stop feeling this way. Yep, that would be nice.