I don't

fucking know.

want to do that.

have the capacity.

think I'm going to make it through the end of the semester without a few problems. Three weeks of hell are coming up and then I'm done. done. done. Lessons? What am I going to do about that? I don't have anything prepared for my juries and even thinking about it stresses me out. It would be great if we could just pretend it never happened, like I wish it did. I wish I had known how this would all have turned out because I never would have signed up for any of it. Papers, papers, papers. I'm never going to grad school because I can't actually write. I don't think I've ever written a paper that accurately represents my knowledge on a given subject in my life. What I have done, is demonstrated my ability to bullshit and procrastinate. This isn't working.

42 days.