Week.

I feel it.

I have a lot to do this week...and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I have to not be sick, finish my DAAD application, homework, work out and work on the DAI project outline. Oof. Too much to think about on a Sunday evening.

Sickness

I knew it was going to happen eventually.

My roommate has infected me. I can't talk or sing and it sucks. Oh well...It'll pass. Like everything else.

I get sick, I get sad, I get hungry, I'm okay. And it all goes away.

Not into today

I just wasn't...Woke up after getting too little sleep, Went to class, came back home and slept. and slept. and didn't go to the gym. and slept. Then I went to class again which wasn't that bad, despite being super confusing and discussing Hegel (?) in a class about Franz Schubert. Oh well...I think I got most of it, which is surprising. Then Choir rehearsal. I like singing...I wish it didn't hurt sometimes.

And now, after having me a Time, I'm going to go to sleep again and hopefully everything will get better like it did the last time.

Booooooundaries

Okay.

So...not okay.

I've been thinking about something and despite how incredibly dramatic and emo it sounds, it kind of makes sense:

I build walls not to keep people out but, to see who cares enough to break them down.


For the most part, that's true. Although, there are people who I'd pretty much like to keep out...or at least to a safe distance. UGH. Vulnerability. I should either learn to be okay with it or...I dunno. Something else. I'd much rather be happy and light and relaxed and everything. But, for some reason...things bother me. Like when people forget my birthday. Even though I pretty much wanted to spend it all alone, eating ice cream in the dark (But seriously)
I wish I could be, like I say so often, Over it. Beyond it. Above it. Yet it pulls me back. Because I'm human and feel the need to sometimes connect to people. Despite how disappointing we are. BUHHHHHHHHH...High school. Feelings. Bleh.

On a better note, I did get Birthday cards today. With Candy und Geld. Mmmmm Geld....and Caaaandy....

Birthday Food

and that is just a few of the thousands of calories I ate. Oh well, I feel the need to eat my feelings this birthday.
I went out with my roommate, met up with the "eh"-mericans, had dinner and ultimately didn't end up watching Bridget Jones' Diary with a carton of ice cream and sweatpants. Which is something...

I'm still 21

Yep. For a few more hours at least.

My last day of being 21 one has been/will be spent being in class, meeting with the Coordinator for the CSU/IP program, going to the gym, working on my "Other America" thing and going to Choir rehearsal. Fairly okay, I guess.

all hallow's eve

not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Nah, it's okay. I'm here in my room. I could have gone out with my roommate (really ein Toller Kerl) but instead I stayed home.

I feel weird and my chest hurts. Also, I miss my friends. It seemed like not so long ago that I was Rufio and we were AWESOME.

buh.

It's taking a lot more effort than I realized it would. I had a presentation today, which was interesting. I thought it would be a good idea to go first, even though I only had 6 days to prepare. I got through it, even though it was a bit short. Afterwards, I carried my trumpet (the primary visual/aural aid) back to my house and social(?)ized with the Roomie.

Tonight's gonna be a good, good niiiiiight.

I really should get this chest thing looked into.