The first of Five

Last saturday, I got an email from the University of Heidelberg with the german equivalent of: We are pleased to announce that you have been accepted to the Master's program of Germanistik im Kulturvergleich with an emphasis of Literature studies at the University of Heidelberg.

Okay. yes.

Just had to let that sink in. I am quite pleased that everything is going to plan and the back-ups and back-ups won't be necessary....or will they? Everything about staying in Heidelberg is good...I keep my friends, my life, my apartment, my jobs, everything I've worked hard for. And yet, the biggest problem is the means itself: I don't know ANYTHING about literature studies. Every single other program is something that I would be excited to do. Intercultural communications, Global studies, Languages, Travelling...all kinds of good stuff. And now that I have the grapes, are they turning sour? SEE?! that was probably a bastardization of some story or another that I don't understand because, again, don't know anything about literature. Especially German literature! I just started speaking this language less than three years ago...how the helll am I going to keep up with the native speakers? Ugh. I'm already getting panic attacks about it. Not something that one should think about the study program to which they are going to devote the next two years of their life...

And now the decisions...I don't know what I should do. As it stands now, I can only go to Heidelberg...but of course I'm going to get into the other programs. I've already spoken to the Universe. This is the first acceptance of five...but what then? What when I have the choice? Do I go to Berlin, Buenos Aires, New Delhi, and Berlin for Global Studies? Do I go to Berlin (and commute 2 hours a day) for the AWESOME program of Intercultural Communications? Do I go to Potsdam and live in Berlin for Anglophone Modernities? Do I fly back to the United States for the guaranteed expensive and high quality education of the Monterey Institue of International Studies? Or do I stay in Heidelberg, enjoying my hard-earned life and potentially sucking at a Master's degree I'm only partially qualified for? I just don't know. Let the spastic excel spreadsheet/pie chart flow graph making commence.

Gestresst

Hoo boy.

Something I thought I was done with for a while: working 30+ hour weeks while going to University and generally trying to maintain homeostasis. Also, applying to grad school again (which is turning out to be expensive) I look forward to that time around february/march next year when I can say: Remember when I had no freaking clue what I wanted to do? Well...now I have options....found a replacement to plan B as mentioned in the previous post, because it wasn't going to work out. And this time, I KNOW I'm qualified. Intercultural Communications. It's kinda what I studied. and by kinda I mean EXACTLY. I'm pretty sure, I'll get in but ya know knock on wood, I'll see you next semester...blah. Tonight I'm going to play at the Christmas Market and possibly go to a friends jam session. Orrrr maybe just fall asleep at 8pm...

How's it going?

 Sooo, at any given moment...this is careening it's way through my brain at 90 miles an hour. I love it when my brain picks up one aspect of it and then worries, like a dog with a bone. Add that and the fact that my self worth is all tied up in there with my rate of success. Also the mild panic attacks every time I think NOTHING could work out....but yes....this:

Plan A: Get into the Germanistik im Kulturvergleich masters program here in Heidelberg...keep my apartment, friends, life, jobs..that last one is important. I'm already kind of active in the field that I want to end up in: being a coordinator of an exchange program. It would be a huge setback to lose out on the opportunity to get paid to collect experience.

Plan B: Get into Uni Potsdam for Kommunikation, Variation und Mehrsprachigkeit. I majored in Comm...and speak multiple languages. I hope they would let me do this because then I could possibly do a doctorate aftewards in clinical linguistics.I'm not technically qualified though and we all know how German bureacracy loves technicalities.

Plan C: Get into Uni Potsdam for Anglophone Modernities in Literature and Culture. I studied in an Anglophone country. One of the focus areas is Gender (which I definitely  was a graduate assistant of a class whose subject was very similar) also the teacher said my case sounds interesting enough. Writing motivation letters is not my strong suit, I guess.

Plan D: Get into Uni Humboldt zu Berlin for a Global studies masters. So, check it: 1st semester: Berlin. 2nd Semester: Buenos Aires. 3rd Semester: Bangkok. 4th Semester: Berlin. BOOM. Although I have no idea how I would finance it.

Plan E: Do a THIRD bachelors at Uni Heidelberg in something that would better prepare me for a masters here in Germany. Even though I already have two...this tends to lengthen the amount of time that I would ultimately end up spending in Germany...not that I don't like it here..but I was planning on moving on to Mexico or Spain after a couple of years...also the lovely lady at the alien authority is under the impresssion that I will be in a masters program. So that would be another battle I'd have to fight. Plus: which bachelors? something I could do quickly, I think. I could also apply for a masters that only has openings next semester after one semester of being a bachelors student.

Plan F: Get into the Monterey Institute of International studies for Translation and Interpretation. I don't know how I would finance this if I didnt win the scholarship. It's also in the United States which is not where I think I'm going to end up.


..yeah. Working hard to make it all go according to plan. We'll see!

Walking around

Heidelberg...

I had planned to go running but am somehow not in the mood. Oh well, I'll get some exercise later this week, I guess.

Trying to learn Arabic a bit more intensely....Spanish is going okay and German is....there, I suppose. Also, applying for grad school (again...ugh)

Current residence permit situation: Have an appointment on the 19th of October to extend my stay in Germany. Have an acceptance letter from the University good for 6 months, a letter from my current English teaching job saying I have classes that won't end AND a letter from my future boss, saying that I am guaranteed work for the year. I should be fine but one never knows. It all depends on how the woman behind the desk with all that power is feeling that day.

It's getting colder! Hopefully autumn and winter aren't as bad this year

Hey! I'm back. So...i dont like this new format of blogger. everything is so....new. But I guess that's a good metaphor for how my life is going. New school year (kinda) new jobs, new apartment, new challenges. hoo boy, those challenges. But, I'll win. I always do.

I once was lost

Not entirely sure if I'm found yet. Was blind but I'm still kinda haaaazzzyyyyyyyy..................... Been having interesting adventures lately. Going to parties and whatnot. I like meeting people and having good conversations, it's true. .......................The battle to stay in Germany is like a roller coaster. Sometimes I'm sure I can do it. Other times, I get emails from people that throw wrenches into the plans, only to be somewhat resolved after a little back-and-forth. I have 5 Students now so, i'm hoping money shouldn't be the issue. Although, plane tickets are expensive. Gah!...................I can do 50 consecutive push-ups. Something I never thought I'd be able to do.............I'm not really liking the new blogger thing...you used to be able to hit enter and have spaces in your text, which fit my random thought/writing process well. UGH, speaking of First world problems, I'm getting a kindle...That's exciting.............Life continues. Working towards what I want, I'm pretty sure.

Was it a good night?

I'm not sure if it was a good night because I want it to be or...because I want it to be, it becomes a good night. Whatever, I'm not complaining. Last night I went to Walpurgisnacht, a night party that takes place in this amphitheater at the top of one of the mountains around Heidelberg. It was nice, I saw people and danced a bit. Mostly managed to avoid making dodgey decisions and further solidified that I am better than being one of many options for someone I would gladly make a priority. Hung out with a fellow teacher of English and ended up walking home with a random constellation of people: Friends from California, Germans, English person and me. I'm into it.