I think it's funny that for someone who contemplates how he presents himself, I am intensely unaware of what people think of me. The more important question is: Do I care?
And the answer escapes me. Sometimes, with select people, the answer is yes. Other times I think that in presenting myself with an indifferent attitude, I want to be perceived as such. So, I have to say that I am unaware of my place in the world and people's eyes but am forever changing it. For example, Yesterday I gave a speech in Communications class. I had timed myself to be roughly 3 minutes and 45 seconds when the guideline was 4-6 minutes. But, while speaking time seemed to be going by too rapidly and I had to cut out a lot of it, causing me to become flustered and deliver a lackluster conclusion. Nobody but me knew why I was fumbling for words. And nobody else really cared, I think.
My Attractive-play going Companion is in that class. He is a prime example of how very, very ignorant I am of my image. I was talking to other people and doing my best to ignore him. This is what I want, right? No contact. He doesn't know that I am still unsure. He doesn't know that I want him to talk to me or at least care. But, He also doesn't know is that I'd rather not make the connection because I would like to not get hurt for a third time. I don't know, he doesn't know. Nobody knows.
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Hi there, I hope you don't mind my commenting. I read your Mom's blog all the time and always see your comments and I thought I'd come over and take a peek and say hi.
Isn't it mind boggling how totally unclear people can be about their feelings? Reading your post reminded me of this time I got asked out by someone who I thought hadn't even noticed my existence. He was just hiding his feelings well. And when I really like someone, I tend to do the same, yet I never realise when other people do it too. What mixed signals! Why do we do it?!
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