Recapitulation

So, I've had a good weekend, and I just got paid ($230!!!) and I'm sure I did fairly well on my midterm and I'm not terribly exhausted after my longest day of the week. I should be having a good time, right?
I can't help but think about everything. I think about things way too much, you know? I think about how strange it is to think that he doesn't care. It's strange to think about how he could be reading this right now. I don't know how I feel about that, though. Another strange thing: I said I didn't want him to read my blog but, I would be oddly satisfied to know that he did. I'm not sure if all of the things I said to him are true. But, I'm also broadening the scope to think about other strange things because I've become more contemplative and introspective, recently. I give consideration to past relationships, both platonic and romantic, and I think: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being empathetic. To one person in particular: I'm sorry. I didn't know it could hurt this intensely.
I don't know what I want. How pathetic, right? So indecisive. Whatever. I know that I am NOT actively pursuing a relationship. With anyone. As of this turn of events, I am no longer going to waste time and energy on such a volatile endeavor. It's not good for my psychological well being.
But, the band will play on, right? As cliche as it sounds. I think that it's begun in a minor key. The significance of this being that not all minor keys are "sad" (look it up, it's true) I'd like to reach the fanfare eventually. I'll get past the second movement because second movements are always No. 2. haha. And now for some crescendo. Do something. Anything. Just do it differently.