I want it to stop

So, to continue the trend of horribly depressing blogs I've been writing lately, I thought I'd go with this one. I'm not enjoying myself any longer. It's official. I'm still thinking about my friend but, now I have the added guilt of not going to her funeral. AND not wanting to call my friends in Arkansas to talk about it. It's just too depressing. I'm a selfish bastard. I want to be there...just not enough, I suppose. I still hate work, of course but now School is pissing me off as well. Choir is too much work. I didn't go to rehearsal last night. And no, it didn't make me feel better. I'd like to be at home right now, using my (broken) computer to write this but, I'm in the school library waiting for my class at 4 to start. I'm really hungry but, I didn't bring as much food as I should have this morning. I'm tired and I didn't get much sleep which was wonderful today because I had two tests. One of which I know I royally fucked up on. And my lesson which was quite possibly the most demeaning that I have ever had. I should just go home but, it's one of those things about school that bothers me: if I miss 2 more days of this class, my grade goes down. And I plan on missing a lot more than 2 in the coming weeks...
I'd also like to not have to worry about things for a little while but, then that would be too easy now wouldn't it? There's really nothing I can do. So I should quit my bitching and keep going. That seems to be the point in my life that I reach time and time again. It's ever so boring.