Orchestra rehearsal today was not so much fun. Are they ever, really? Is this what I'm doing with my life? I feel like more often than not, I enjoy the fact that I'm "good" at music. I have an audition for the Berkeley Symphony in two weeks. I'm actually setting myself up to be judged on something that I base my entire self worth on. And I'm not going to compare with the folks who do this for a living. I just won't. So, what does that mean?
So negative.
Walking ball of chill neuroses, I am. Everything is okay, even as I'm screaming mediocrity.
2 comments:
Um, you got a an audition. Period. That is awesome. I've never gotten an audition with a legit symphony orchestra. I am way jealous.
...By the way I found your blog. And I'm going to read it. Because you are awesome.
<3 Jenna
I love meeting and talking with Wynton at every concert/event I attend. Each opportunity is unique and special. On one occasion, in 2000 at the Monette shop in Portland, I had the opportunity to talk with him. The topic of being a professional musician 24/7 came up, and how it can become overwhelming at times, and how he handles this in his life. I remember one key phrase from that discussion, (while holding his horn in one hand, slightly raised int he air) "...this is not who I am, this is just what I do..." In summation, he made it a point to intimate to us all that being a musicians is something that we do take very personally, but it is not who we are. We are our thoughts, actions, and how we treat other people in this world. He made a great point of tellings us that he is also a father, a writer, a composer, a husband, an Uncle, and many other things. It was an awesome discussion. So, don't worry about just being "good" at being a musician, most people don't even get that far. I hope the audition goes extremely well and remember, it's just what we do, not who we are...
Much Love!
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