May

Too many thoughts on my mind...

It's May. Only 3 weeks left until Summer. Whoo

I'm still not over him. All of the problems that plagued me during February are slowly going away. I've moved. My family has 1.5 months left in their house.

I want to be happy. I'm the cause (in one way or another) for everything that bothers me

My therapist sees me in my upswings which makes me think that I'm okay when I talk to him. I know there will eventually come a time when I'm severely not okay and I don't know what to do about it.

I'd like to live in this moment. And be okay in this moment.

I've been thinking pretty hard about going to Spain during the beginning of August. I don't have enough money. I might have to quit my job then. BUT Life is too short to hate it.

I have way too much shit to do. I want to relax and read and not stress and not break down.

All the questions simply beget more questions. I must stay curious. The only problem I have is when I succumb to the misery. When I say: 'I don't want to ask or know at all because it's too painful."
Apparently, the question is the answer.