I'm fairly sure that this is largely one of the reasons I still think I'm crazy sometimes. I mean, sure I know on some level that I'm not really crazy but the ridiculous and intense mood swings that I go through have to mean that something doesn't work inside of me like I'd like it to. I'm not sure exactly how to go about changing this. Or even if it needs to be changed. I don't want to feel like I have forever but, How can I change how I feel?
It's really difficult for me to imagine how I could go from wanting to no longer be alive to being ambivalent about all of the ridiculously difficult things I must accomplish in the next 3 weeks in mere hours. Is that okay with me? I've gone from hating my nature to utilizing it to rebuking it to momentarily accepting it. All in the span of a day.
I would have to say that with all of the ups and downs (Mood swings? hell, they're more like mood tilt-a-whirls) my main issue is being so sensitive. I might go through the same changes as everyone else (which is what I suspect) but for some reason I feel things and analyze things and experience sensation more intensely. The adjective that titles this post can describe me accurately. I am me. I am so many things that I have yet to make peace with. Like the messenger god or the poisonous silver metal, I am ever-changing, quickly adapting, and probably making people (myself) act a little strangely...
1 comment:
could be worse
Tino Orozco and i once got stuck on that flippin' fucker carnival ride known as The Zipper, i think he started crying because we were so scared (he was a very sensitive child). we had to be scared for our lives for two ride's worth.
you could be having
Mood Zippers
(and flipping out on people)
or even worser - your mindfly could be Open
and the horse could get outta the barn!
;o]
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