Over and Getting Back into: It

Today was the first day of school. I'm not really sure how I feel about the whole thing. I walked in feeling pretty good because I woke up in my hotel and had breakfast with my Mama. Put on a pretty spiffy outfit and did okay in my first classes (one was even canceled!) and then....Wind Ensemble. *sigh* If only I actually wanted to be there. Not going to lie, though. I do have fun. It's usually because of my section mates. The music is alright. I'm not even all that bothered by Evan being there. It's just the whole energy of it really doesn't sit well with me or something. Whatever. I did get to eat before my lesson which was good. I was however, accosted by the aforementioned outside while texting someone. Gah. For the first time, I wanted him to go away. I don't think he reads this anymore but I wouldn't care if he did or not so, I'm not even sure why I mention it. I've made a lot of decisions (without checking in first) mainly for my benefit. I don't know if they're going to last. This break helped me to get some clarity. I'm further along in the process than I was though not as far as I'd like. Oh well.

The thought that has been running through my head pretty much non stop right now is:

So, this is my life right now.

I don't know if there are negative or positive feelings behind that. Maybe that's a good thing. Neutrality is way better than what I've been feeling lately.