Power and Choice

It all relates back to decisions that we make and privileges that we have. I went back to my old apartment today. My reception was less than warm and caused me to think about the life that I essentially abandoned there. Not great. I am to go back there tomorrow and I don't know how to do it. Stress, Reliving a bad time, Regressing to a previous hateful state, Guilt, Bad energy. Just what I need on the weekend before finals, eh? It's also painfully close to Peet's and the job that I may or may not have anymore. Apparently, I'm suspended and under review for termination. Honestly, if I don't have the job anymore, I'm not going to cry about it. I don't fear the change any more than water fears the glass it's poured into. It might make school and rent and money in general more difficult but I think I can manage. That's what I've been doing, ever since I moved to San Francisco. I have to get through this week. Get through the hard parts and start to enjoy. That's my goal for the summer, I think. I have the power. And now I choose to be Happy. I've always been somewhat comfortable in my misery. And I say this because I believe it a thousand times over: I would rather be broke and happy than comfortable and miserable.