Healing time

So, I have taken the advice of many people wiser than I. I won't talk to him for a while just so that I can take the time to reconcile and learn to show compassion without further damaging myself. I told him in the letter that the only reason I feel like the feelings aren't going away is because we continue to drag them out and rehash every time we talk. I feel like I need to talk to him because I think he has the capacity to make me happy. I am slowly recognizing the truth: It's not true anymore. I can't continue to seek out someone who doesn't care about my feelings enough to be accountable. I feel for him, I really do. That's why I partially wish I could help him to figure out how he can do this with a clean conscience and help him to learn that he can't treat people like this. It's not up to me to be his counselor. By refusing to engage with him, I am taking a positive step for myself.
In the mean time, while my heart slowly mends I will continue to live my life and try not to think about him and the hurtful things he's doing. I'm going to practice the trumpet, I'm going to go to a party tonight, I'm going to work and live and learn to love again. I'm going to help my family through a tough time. I'm going to be thankful for the strength they have lent me. I just wish that I didn't hurt so much.