It's about forgiveness

Even if, Even if you dont love me anymore.

Wonderful lyric isn't it?

I spent the night at a wonderful friends house who was magnanimous enough to drive me to work this morning. He went through a lot of the same stuff that I'm going through right now (he's also a mutual friend of mine and evan's) so he helped to shed a lot of light on the situation. I'm going to have to be okay with never having a big conversation with him. I won't be able to fully explain that I'm sorry. I won't be able to fully explain the so many ways he hurt me. He'll never answer my questions. The only questions I can answer are my own. One thats been bothering me from a previous post: How can I love this unaware, selfish, inconsiderate child?
It sounds hurtful but I sincerely mean it as a question. How can I? Why do I still? The why is simple: I am a better person after he broke my heart. We had fun. I am filled with empathy and aware of my actions even if I dont think he is. The how is more complex. I think the plethora of stupid cliches are true.I love him but, I'm no longer in love with him. I am letting him go. Not holding my breath because
he's not coming back, but I am letting him go.